BOOK REVIEW | If I Stay by Gayle Forman

I think that there's a lot in a reader's life that affects the rating of a book. When they read it, the mood they were in, how their day had been, what they had been reading previously, what they plan on reading next, etc. In this case, the stars aligned for my reading experience of Gayle Forman's "If I Stay," because I found it to be a nearly perfect book.

I did listen to this, rather than read it, so that my have affected my experience of it, but I honestly feel as if this is the perfect book to listen to. The reader was phenomenal, and the narration is just meant to be read aloud. The short, poetic sentences that Ms. Forman has woven together flow into each other beautifully. There were never any awkward wordings or sentence flaws that threw me out of the story.

I loved all of the characters in this story, especially the parents. When you're listening to a book instead of reading it, different things become important for you to enjoy your experience. For me, the things that became important were the character dynamics, their relationships and their dialogue. All three were excellent. Mia is a conservative teenage girl who loves her alternative family, her alternative boyfriend and her cello. Being able to hear the story from her point of view, considering she was "strangest" of them all, was really interesting. What it was like to grow up with such liberal parents and off road ways of thinking, what it is like having become someone so very different from her parents, but then falling in love with someone so very like them.

What it's like losing your parents and younger brother in one moment.

This book got to me. I did okay throughout the most of it, but the ending, where she's choosing to stay or go... I couldn't handle it. The tears were streaming down my face. I wouldn't say I was sobbing but there was a continuous trail of tears. The author wanted a reaction and she got one. Kudos to her for being able to weave a story so heartbreaking and full of hope at the same time.

[FOR THE PARENTS] Where She Fell by Kaitlin Ward

"Where She Fell" by Kaitlin Ward is about a young girl who falls into a sinkhole. As she journeys farther down into the earth via a cave opening that she escaped into, she discovers a group of people who have made this cave their home. And she quickly learns that the cave wants them to stay... This book was at the book fair my school had recently and a student of mine picked out this book and "Lie to Me," by the same author. After finishing the latter, I thought I would try this one out, too. I actually preferred this book, although my student preferred "Lie to Me." I thought there were a lot of creative elements in the cave dwellers and I was fascinated by the concept of the bioluminescents. I actually wished their origin had been explained a bit more. I enjoyed that, with the exception of the main character, no one feels safe -- I mean that it genuinely felt like any of them could have died, which is a bit of a surprise for a middle school book. What I liked: The main character has social anxiety and seeing her work through that was really cool; it was also nice to have a main character with a mental illness that is represented well. All of the cave creatures. The entire cave colony and its desperate form of government.  What I would warn parents about: Pretty steamy romantic scenes, which might be a bit too much for a middle schooler. It should be based on individuals and not something given to everyone. Blood & gore, although nothing I would say that a middle schooler couldn't handle. Who I would recommend this for: Mature middle schoolers. Reluctant high schoolers who are not on reading level.  Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this read.  I found it to be creative, adventurous and fun.  I did feel like the cave part dragged ever-so-slightly, however the author had to set the stage for what was to come, so it's perfectly understandable.  It was a very interesting read that I devoured within an hour.

BOOK REVIEW | Wither by Lauren DeStefano

Wither follows the story of Rhine, who is living in a world where a disease has wiped out most of the human race, leaving only North America behind. Because of this disease, no one is able to live past the age of 20, if you're a woman, and 25, if you're a man. Rhine is forced into a marriage with two other girls for the sole purpose to produce babies, but she is finding that what she wants more than anything is freedom. Freedom from the disease. Freedom from her husband. Freedom from that mansion.

I know there are certain aspects of this book that have made people cringe. But, for me, the writing and the overall storyline made it well worth the four stars I gave. Let me start with the things that I noticed or others have pointed out to me.

In order of biggest inconsistency to least:

1. All of this snow that Florida can apparently create. As a resident of Florida, this made me cringe. Even if this were to take place in Northern Florida, it would be ridiculous. Perhaps there was some snowfall in Tallahassee back in 2010. I seem to remember news of it. But this was the type of snow that barely even made it to the ground because it was so cold. The snow that they talked about in Wither was somehow inches or more deep. All I could think of was, "What Florida is this?" My only reasoning was that maybe after the destruction of people (via virus), the state lines were re-done... but it was never explained to be so in the book. That bugged me.

2. Rhine never has sex. This did not make any sense. Now, I'm pretty laid back about sex in YA books. Sometimes it's unnecessary - actually, most of the time it's unnecessary. But in this case? Definitely necessary. You want me to believe that Rhine enters into a marriage which has the sole purpose to procreate and yet never has sex? I can see how DeStefano made Linden a weak man who wouldn't pressure her, but does anyone remember his father? This was not a man who cared enough about Linden, about anyone that he would sacrifice new life forms. If anything, he would have just killed Rhine, used her for scientific study, and then told Linden to move on. I don't care how anyone tries to justify this. Rhine would have been murdered or raped. The end.

3. North America is the SOLE survivor. Now, some readers may have already have read Fever and are shaking their heads at this because maybe this is explained in the second book. I took it as a projection of the character. North America is the only one they know to have survived. But if that is the case, why word it so? Why not simply say that instead of making a firm statement that North America is the only place with a population left.

4. Women dying before men. I suppose this was for plot purposes, but FYI, men die earlier than women. It's scientifically proven. It would have made more sense to have women die at age 25 and men at age 20.

Regardless, I still greatly enjoyed this book. DeStefano's prose was literally breathtaking. I read this in one sitting. She drew me in with her characterization and writing. I loved the character of Jenna and I could feel for the character of Linden. Oftentimes, I think that writing first person can greatly hinder a writer. This is because they are not able to explore any other characters than the one whose eyes the reader is seeing from. However, somehow DeStefano managed to make all of her characters seem so real and so vulnerable, even through Rhine's eyes. Because of this great characterization, I was able to look past more technical errors.

I also, personally, read books for the relationships and characterizations. I am a huge character reader dislike it when other characters are not fully developed. (Or if other characters all follow some kind of stereotype, etc). With DeStefano, the reader is able to understand a variety of personalities and view the story from different angles.

I purposely put the negative aspects first because I want people to understand how I could look past some blatant errors because of the beautiful writing and empathetic characterization. I would honestly recommend this to anyone. The pacing, the prose - it all made it worth it to me.

BOOK REVIEW | Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

Okay, I've been meaning to post my reviews on both Throne of Glass and Crown of Midnight for awhile.  As most of you know, I didn't enjoy either and am currently reading Heir of Fire.   I reviewed this book back in 2013, but I'm tweaking it a bit to make it more appropriate/verbalize my thoughts better.

One sentence summary: Throne of Glass is about an assassin named Celaena - who is now in a slave labor mine due to a betrayal - that is propositioned by the Prince of her Kingdom to fight in a tournament that will determine who the next King's Champion will be.

When I initially began reading Throne of Glass, I slogged through about 20% of it and was so unimpressed that I thought it would be a very rare DNF.  But I was determined.  So many people were raving about this that I kept convincing myself to read more.  When I realized there were novellas, I thought that I would try to read them in order to establish the universe more.  (This is already very telling of how weak I find the world building to be.  You should never have to read a novella because you can't make it through the novel.)

 After my four star review of The Assassin and the Empire, I was really hoping that returning to the actual book would be a more positive experience. The novellas cemented the world that Maas had created for me and I felt prepared to tackle the novel itself again; they also proved that she is a very capable storyteller. Unfortunately, I think the novel just can't compare to the atmosphere created by her shorter works.

The first thing that bothered me was the fact that the world worships a Goddess who has gods as her consorts, yet treats women as inferior. I cannot wrap my mind around this. Technically, women should be more powerful than they are because cultures and religion are almost one in the same: one always mimics the other. I started trying to justify it, thinking maybe it was one of those things where the gods were more important and the Goddess was more how we consider Mother Earth to be, but no, it's more important.  She seems to be the most important deity.  They have a High Priestess who runs church services... church services.  As I mentioned before, religion and culture are so intertwined that to have a woman be the leader of a religious aspect of the world, but not in a secular aspect truly makes no sense (and is normally the other way around). Also, the fact that she has consorts, which means that the gods are inferior to her... I see no reflection of this whatsoever in the cultural attitudes of the people.  This is a world-building mistake that I think most people will be able to get over, but it really bothered me. 

(An example of well-done inclusion of culture and religion is A Game of Thrones.  The religion changes the culture - or the culture changes the religion - depending on what the person believes in: the Great After, The Old Gods, R'hllor, The Seven, etc.)

The second thing to bother me was this: the lack of mention of Sam. After reading the novellas and learning about this character named Sam who played a very important role, this didn't make sense to me. I also had a problem with Dorian, the main love interest.  

Warning: There is a bit of a love triangle in this story.  

 Disclaimer: I didn't find it to be annoying. 

Even though I didn't find the love triangle itself annoying, I did find the interest in Dorian to be distracting from the story and an unnecessary story arc.  She immediately pounces on the opportunity to be in a relationship with him because he likes books and is handsome.  I expect a bit more caution from someone who is an assassin.

Speaking of being an assassin... why was there so little murder or assassinations in this novel?  There were so many passages telling me about how perfect Celaena was: she could play piano, she was beautiful, she was intelligent, she was witty, she was the best assassin ever... which makes me wonder what kind of second-rate assassins she must have been running with because, seriously, why the hell wasn't there any assassinations happening?  Show.  Don't tell.  I don't care how much you hit me over the head with Celaena's bad assery, if I never see it, it doesn't exist. 

I also had some trouble figuring out who was narrating. There were many times when it was a close third person narration of Dorian or Chaol, the other main male character, but then something would happen and the narration would say that the narrator didn't see it. If the narrator didn't see it, then how could the reader see it? I can think of a particular moment when it is Dorian who is narrating the chapter, but something happens behind his back that Chaol sees.  If Dorian didn't see it, how did I learn about it in that chapter?  Who is narrating that scene? I think part of the reasons Maas' novellas were so strong in their narration was that they were solely through Celaena's eyes. Switching between narrators can be done and I tend to like books more when there is more than one narrator, however the multiple narrations in this novel were executed poorly.
 
Creating an entirely new world is a struggle and I congratulate Maas for being able to come up with some really creative plot points and details.  I like that she includes other races, which is a rarity in YA books. I like that two girls can talk to each other and be friends without all the cliche girl-hate.  Thank you, Maas, for that!  It's very needed in the YA world.

I originally ended this on a different note, but I have deleted the ending of my original review because I'm not sure who I would recommend this to anymore.  I suppose all I can say is that most people seem to enjoy it, but I just can't bring myself to overlook what I find to be glaring holes in her world building and narration.

And now you know what I dislike about Throne of Glass.  I'll upload my Crown of Midnight review tomorrow, but that one will take a bit more re-working than this one did.  I was pretty angry after I finished that one...

THE RANDOM QUESTION TAG

(I'm so terribly behind on tags and what not.  Sorry!  Midterms are insane at the moment.  I'm going to try and catch up with everything this week.)

I was tagged by the lovely Gloria over at GloriaTheViolinist who has also answered these questions here. Be sure to check her out!  Thank you for the tag!  In this tag, I will be answering 18 random questions.

1. Have you ever thrown a book?
Yep.  And not only have I thrown a book, I've thrown my Kindle, too! (Onto my bed, but still.)

2. Do you like lengthy books or short books?
Depends on how engaging a story is, but in general succinct and straight-to-the-point books are great for me in literary fictions and longer, more descriptive books are better in fantasy.

3. If you don't like a book, do you stop reading it or finish it?
In general, I finish it because I'm probably going to deconstruct the heck out of it and have so much fun.  But there have been a few times where I just couldn't finish a book.  Most of the time, if I can't finish it, it's because there's no deeper meaning to be found that I could agree or disagree with.

4. Do you stop reading when you're tired or when a chapter finishes?
I stop reading when I pass out. I don't even close the book, I legit just pass out mid-sentence.
  
5. How do you organize your shelf?
By genre.

6. Paperback or Hardcover?
Paperback.  Cheaper, easier to read and I love writing in the margins.

7. What book can you not wait to read?
Anything for fun.  Uni is sucking out my soul.

8. A book you wish could be turned into a graphic novel?
Not sure I want any of them to be... unless it's done by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.  Maybe Good Omens.  Does that already exist? 

9. A book that disappointed you?
Crown of Midnight by Sarah J. Maas and Dangerous Girls by Abigail Haas.  Literally for the exact same reason.

10. What book made you cry recently?
Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs.  It's her account of being a slave and there's a part where she teaches another slave to read so that he could read the Bible.  I'm not even a Christian, but his will to learn and devotion to God were so beautiful to read about that I just started tearing up.  To love something so strongly is beautiful.

11. Do you prefer buying books online or going to the bookstore?
Going to the bookstore.  It's like coming home.

12. Do you prefer to listen to music while reading or to read in silence?
Read in silence.  I wish I could listen to music while I read, but I'm too easily distracted.

13. What is the weirdest thing you've ever experienced while reading a book?
Not sure I've ever experienced anything weird... but I did read in the Louvre, right outside the Mona Lisa.  -toots horn-

14. What was your first fandom?
Kingdom Hearts!

15. What fictional character do you relate to the most?
Lizzie Bennett and Lydia Bennett.  Lizzie because I'm bold (maybe too bold), enjoy talking with people and being witty and can handle myself.  Lydia because I can be quite silly and ridiculous, but I have the advantage of having good parents.  Honestly, if Lydia had had parents that actually cared about her and took care of her, she would not have turned out as she did.  I really think Mr. Bennett is one of the worst literary parents of all time.

16. What fictional character do you wish you were more like?
I like myself as I am, to be honest, lol.  I do wish I had Tyrion Lannister's eye for strategy, though.  I bet he's good at math.  I wish I were good at math. *sighs deeply*

17. If you could spend a whole day with five characters, who would you pick?
Tyrion Lannister,  Frederick Douglass (he counts because he wrote a book about himself so he made himself a character), Harriet Jacobs, Keenan and Seth from Wicked Lovely.

18. What is a book that exceeded all of your expectations?
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern.  Wow, what a seriously beautiful book!

I'm not sure who has done this tag, so I'm hesitantly tagging:

Morrighan @ Elysian Fields

Ana @ Tara! Let's be happy

Noelia @ A Day in Bookland

Lola @ Hit or Miss Books

Giselle @ Perks of Being Readers

The Misses @ Fangirling Misses

BOOK REVIEW | The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken

I feel like I was deceived before even opening this book.

I was reassured that this book is dark, very dark, and I was excited to read a YA novel that isn't afraid to test the boundaries of creepy, scary and evil. It's one of the reasons I can really appreciate Kresley Cole's YA novels. I like dark things because they show the nature of reality. I've been told often that I'm an idealist, but that's only partly true. I like to consider myself an idealistic realist which I am positively, kind of sure, might be a real thing.

That being said, this book really isn't very dark at all. Part of my disappointing reading experience lies with me: I was just too excited for this dark and disturbing world that Bracken created. But I didn't find it dark. I didn't find it disturbing. I found her world to be implausible and riddled with inaccuracies.

I'm not a psychologist by any means, but I am reasonably sure that if you separate children from each other based on their sex then when they finally live co-ed again there is going to be a decent amount of sexual awakening, awkwardness and inappropriate come-ons. There was none of this. I really think that Bracken missed out by not exploring the sexual side more. She could have made that part really dark and disturbing, but, other than a brief moment of intimidation in the beginning, the kids get over their meeting very fast... and fall in love even faster.

I was trying to let Ruby and Liam's relationship slide because they had been barred from the opposite sex for so long, but the more I thought about it, the more the relationship seemed impossible. I could easily believe Liam capable of falling in love with someone in two weeks. He's a perfect setup: positive, idealistic, good natured, laid-back... But Ruby is a different story. She is reserved and wary. Of course, these traits are due to her traumatic past, but they are still traits she possesses and I did not believe that she lost her inherent wariness of people in two weeks over a boy.

There was a big problem with the government in this novel. People protect their young. It is an instinctual trait that we all share. No "normal" and "sane" person wants to see a child get hurt. I cannot fathom an entire world turning on their children because they have turned into "monsters". I can believe the rehab part of it, but not the torture chamber aspects. It just doesn't make any sense and the more I think about it, the more I feel like it was just a hodgepodge of "what-if" scenarios thrown together to create another YA dystopia.  This would've been more believable if only a section of the children had "problems," but basically all children were there.  So, we're going to torture an entire generation?

I gave this two stars because the ending flew by for me, which means there is a lot of good-storytelling abilities. Personally, I will not be picking up the sequel, but I hope that others have a better reading experience than I did. You may enjoy this if: you're looking for a quick read, you love sensitive and kind heroes, and/or you love reading about road trips.

BOOK REVIEW | Rumble by Ellen Hopkins

1 controlling star.

RUMBLE, by Ellen Hopkins, tells about the life of 18-year-old Matt, who has been on edge ever since his younger brother Luke committed suicide. Since then, his life has gone to shambles. He's lost his brother, his best friends, his parent's marriage is falling apart and his own relationship with his girlfriend is being tested to an uncomfortable point. Acting out in anger is one of the only ways that Matt can cope with all of these issues and he begins a steady cycle into self-destruction.

I admire what Ms. Hopkins tried to do in this novel. She tried to showcase the after-effects of suicide, the importance of forgiveness, and the destruction of relationships all within 500 or so pages. There is a strong chance she could have done this successfully as well if she hadn’t warped, perhaps, the main point of her novel: Control.

Matt is suffocating himself with his desire to control. He wants to control his parent’s marriage, he wants to control his girlfriend, he wants to control his environment (“I need order. I’m used to order”). And who can blame him? He has lost his brother, which was out of his control, his parents are at each other’s throats, something else that is also out of his control, and his own relationship is slowly, but surely, disassembling itself. With all of this pressure, it’s no surprise that the only way he feels like he can regain his life is to enforce every bit of dictatorship he can muster.

There were many passages referring to his girlfriend, Hayden, that reek of Matt’s desire to not only control her, but to literally possess her:

“Hayden turns, waves and her smile is all for me. I think. She gives Jocelyn a quick hug and as she starts away the guy touches her arm, redirecting her attention toward his goodbye. I definitely want to kick his spindly ass.” (Jealousy over innocent gestures by other men.)

“Any guy with a libido and half a brain would want to possess her…” (Trying to justify his powerful feeling of possession over her.)

“Arm still firmly wrapped around Hayden’s waist…”(He is even controlling in his body language.)

“The way she believes every word. The control that gives him.” (This basically spells it out for the reader.)

Perhaps the most frightening of all:

“Having no one to rape and nothing to pillage but myself, I step into the hot water stream, lather up with Mom’s fancy rosemary bath gel, and when I close my eyes, it is Hayden I imagine ramming into, take extreme pleasure in her pain.” (Rape is one of the ultimate forms of control.)

Hayden can feel this control, jealousy and possessiveness in him. It, quite rightly, scares her.

“But sometimes I worry if I tell you what’s on my mind, you’ll freak.”
“Sometimes you scare me.”

All of this control, all of this jealousy, finally culminates into a stand off where Matt physically forces his possession onto Hayden,

“Our hands unlace and I think our lives have, too, and I just can’t let that happen. I maneuver her back against the building, place one hand on each side of her face and repeat, ‘What are you saying?’” (Here he has quite literally trapped her in place, as he's been trying to metaphorically trap her into their relationship the entire time.)

As the book goes on, Matt learns to relinquish some of that control. This comes in the form of forgiveness. All of this time he has been playing the blame game when it came to his brother’s suicide. He blamed his father, his mother, his friend’s, his girlfriend, her friends, himself and, most importantly, a book that is based on interpretation. These grudges he has been holding (which are also a form of control) one by one slip lose and he steps back into the light of forgiveness.

“I blamed the Bible, when its words were not at fault, only the way they’re interpreted by those too willing to wield them like chain saws, cutting other off at the knees.”

However, the rest of the control remains, especially when it comes to his relationships with women, and it is covered up and sugared over, which is where this book lost its merit. Matt never realizes he has a control problems in terms of intimacy. Yes, he acknowledges his OCD-like issues with cleanliness, but there is so much more under the surface that he needs to deal with, and never does. Instead of working on his problems, he finds a girl who will perfectly suit his needs for possession, a girl who is desperate enough to be whatever he wants her to be, unlike Hayden.

“’They say puppies are good for mending broken hearts,’ she joked once. ‘Woof, woof. You can pet me if you want.’” (Willing to change herself for his benefit.)

“She winks. ‘Anything I can do to entertain you, my dear.’” (Willing to demean herself for his benefit.)

The worst part of this is that the author never mentions it. She leaves her character blind to this particular short coming and expects the reader to forget his earlier problems with control and Hayden. I don’t think the author was blind to his controlling personality. Why else mention the fact that he has OCD tendencies? Why else mention how he wants to literally possess Hayden and spend every waking moment with her? My issue is that she did not even attempt to resolve it.

Perhaps the worst part of this is that by the end, after Matt has forgiven himself and those who bullied his brother, he thinks: “Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all this, it’s to have faith in love.” He mentions his parent’s loss of love and how his father had found it in someone else, and how Matt found a new, and supposedly better, love with Alexa. I cannot believe that his innate issue with possession gets thrown to the side to try and make this novel about him not trusting love.

This was never about love. This was never about forgiveness. This was never about faith. This book was about a young man who needs to learn how to live his life without having to control every aspect of it, and that was not given the proper attention. Matt should have been in counseling for his control problems, not his problem with forgiveness,because his problems with forgiveness will go away as he learns to let go of wanting to be in charge of everything. He should have never entered into another relationship without even fixing what went wrong in the first.

This novel had the opportunity to convey a strong message but, in my opinion, never reach its goal

BOOK REVIEW | Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

5 squealing stars.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell follows the story of Cather Avery, a 18-year-old college freshman hailing from Omaha, Nebraska who is obsessed with a franchise called Simon Snow. (Think Harry Potter.*) Cather is a twin who was raised by a mentally unstable father and an absent mother, and suffers from anxiety. She finds solace, comfort and acceptance in the world of Simon Snow, but has sort of forgotten how to live in her own.

When I was younger, I loved writing fanfiction. I never "fangirled" over books (that would happen when I was older and started reading Game of Thrones...) but I fangirled like craxy over video games. My fanfictions were various stories using the characters from franchises like Kingdom Hearts, FFX, FFVII, most of the Final Fantasies... and even a few anime, like Sailor Moon. But then I got older and my fangirl tendencies seemed to have faded away. (For the most part. Damn you, George R. R. Martin.) (Just kidding, I love you.)

That being said, I really couldn't identify with Cather. She is reclusive, scared and avoids nearly all human contact, which is about as opposite of me as it gets. To be honest, when the book first began, I was afraid I was going to end up disliking the novel because I couldn't get over how clingy she was. However, Rainbow Rowell has a gift. Not only did I get over Cath's imperfections, I ended up really liking her, even before she began to open her eyes to the real world.  This speaks wonders about the author, because she was able to create a sense of empathy in me for a character that I originally found irritating.

Cath somehow got me rooting for her. I wanted her to go out and have fun with her room mate. I wanted her to be a regular 18-year-old girl and not have to worry about her possibly-alcoholic twin, disappearing-and-now-reappearing mother and her wonderful-but-sadly-disturbed father.  I became invested in her problems and her terrible coping skills.

Watching Cath grow was fulfilling. When she finally began going out with her room mate, Reagan (who was a hilarious and very real character), and starting her own romance with Levi (a sweet, adorable 21-year-old with the patience of a saint), I felt really satisfied as a reader. Rowell gently led into Cath's growth and I felt like I was growing with her. Of course she still did things I didn't understand (like hold a kiss over Levi's head for three months... get over yourself, girl), but by then I understood her so thoroughly that it made sense.

Cath also grows as a writer. As her personal world is broadened from the world of Simon Snow to her own, she realizes the endless possibilities that she could write. About herself. About her world. That was a great metaphor for how she had finally accepted her reality.  She grows as a writer as she grows as a young adult, subtly yet powerfully.

Overall, I absolutely adored this book. The characters were so fleshed out and real that I felt like I was reading a book about my own friends. Rainbow Rowell, next to having a fantastic name, has a fantastic writing style that is easy to read, easy to relate to and funny.

* There is mention of Harry Potter in this book, which sort of confused me. She set up Simon Snow as the Harry Potter of that universe and then threw in HP randomly... I sort of wish that had been edited out. I don't understand the reasoning for that inclusion